Monday, July 18, 2005

Black Coffin

wat do you do wen death is THISCLOSE?wen its breathing down ur neck,sending goosebumps all over you?wen all u want is ur life back in the safe clutch of ur hands?i wud want to do something at tht moment.wen i kno tht 'ok,this is the end,i've done wat i came for,now they want me back...'...but at the same time i'll be thinking...'i dont want to gooo.....'


i know wat i'll do.i'll cry at my helplessness.i'll remember the first rose i picked,the first ice cream i had,my parents,my first kiss,my first flu,my first baby,my first everything.then my last everything.one by one.all the memories.i will hold on to whoever's holding my hand at tht particular moment,nd let go the next......





*i am eternal*

wen all else fails,seek refuge in God

thts exactly wat i did today.one 18 yr old sitting amongst ten 50+ ladies.trying to be on my best behaviour,trying not to look bored,nd also trying to amuse myself with ten different convos going on.but how long can u amuse urself with talks about 'mera beta bahir parhta hai','kitni fresh lag rahi ho!' and fake laffter?


not very long.


stifling yawn upon yawn upon yawn,i gaze at the decorations.suchay festive occassion this dholki is.where its fashionable for young girls not to recite the Holy Quran and for aunties to raucously claim tht they're still young at heart.the hostess guided me out of 'aunty island' and into the 'larkiyon ka lagoon'.only there were none.just my boring 15 yr old neighbour who brought in a kid(fat and curly haired) to keep me company.nice.not.

so all else failed and i prayed.as in,namaz wala prayed.wasnt so bad really.

Monday, July 11, 2005

right back at-cha

now I'M gonna try and figure out wat is (in fact) going on *sir mumtaz*.lets list some of ur....err....traits...
1)retrospective
2)secular
3)painstaking in keeping ur image:'i'm cool,nd i dont need recognition,altho i'd appreciate some'

not as noxious as i thought u wud be,or u might want to be.fallacious about thyself,yet have tendencies to....umm...care.i'm using big words,yet i am making sense.even to myself.:p.however,i am still dubious about ur sincerity.and i say all this while i cut my nails square (just to c wat they luk like),and listen to elvis presley,so dont take nething too seriously.its just...an observation,maybe not a very gud one,but its all u can get with only exACTLY 5 min to talk with ur mum yelling in the background.i need a shave.cheers.

Friday, July 01, 2005

*sigh*

die motherfucker,die.i'm not even allowed to dream nemore cuz of u,u bastard.now wats left of me is wat i pretend to be.y?y?y?y?why?Why?WHY?
its not fair.its just not bloody fucking fair.ek dafa haath tou aa jayay,i'm ready to kill.