Thursday, October 27, 2005


i'm not sure if thts a word.i dont think it is,but it sounds so cool!:D.neway,i have successfully managed to read Wuthering Heights while i drown my chips ahoy's in milk.yum.

The Colour Red

Venus dripped
and draped of Red

And on it went
Inside her head

The glorious hue
of Fury's glance

Shunned the others
While Fury danced

Seperating contours
Love and hate

Red symbolises all
tis decided fate

Friday, October 21, 2005


interesting how
ur so uninterested.

shocking how
u just walked past.

and even moreso
tht i walked on too.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


my conscience is fighting with hay.tht be uncool.for one,i didnt think i had one.two,i dont think its gonna win.i have too many evils and not enuff good.i feel inferior,negligent and manipulative.i'm jealous of ppl who are amazing with words.i hate tht i dont have wat it takes to make an impact.i hate being busy doing nothing but procrastinating.i'm terrified of wat lies ahead of me.i think i'm finally getting Hub's meaning of being a grown up:Knowing tht ull be lost in the crowd among others just like u.tht ull never rise to become something,to be tht rocketing fireball in the hazy black sky.not tht it bothers me.not in the least.

ouch,pimple dard karta=(

Sunday, October 09, 2005

E(arth) Q(uake)

omg,omg,omg.i dont like my head wen it jhooms yaar.its freakin irritating.thts y i never like sitting on the Pirate Boat,it makes my stomach go flippy-floppy.neway,so i'm lying on my stomach,peacefully(?) sleeping,nd the ground starts to sway.Diabolically.Mockingly.suddenly,my eyes are wide open and i'm luking at the swirling world from a weird angle.i jump up,scream wildly and wrench my door open.fooki opens his door simultaneously,me,him and mom all run out into the garden.i'm like 'shitiahteearthquakesijustuffhatethemyaar'.the quaking isnt so visible nemore,but we're still swaying.we gather around in the lawn chairs,still n shock by wat the hell just head is still jhoom-ing and i'm still half-stuck in my and peech sit for a while then trudge back inside.*flop* on our respective beds and we're asleep.we wake up to the CNN reporter aka dad telling us its 7.6 on the Richter Scale.Damn.7.6?Iran disappeared at 6.5.How are we still standing?its general,bemused wondering.other stuff tht bemuses me:
-the birds are still chirping
-its Ramazan
-the sun's still shining,not a cloud in the sky
-i went back to sleep after surviving an earthquake=s
-thts it for now

its bloody hot.nd isloo cenes are horrific.i'm seeing the collapsed building(s) and rubble,but i cant possibly imagine ppl being stuck under all tht.scary hai bohot.nd its RAMAZAN man.wonder how many ppl were fasting.the ones who are stuck in the dark,and the ones who're helping them get out in the blazing Octoboer heat.the gud thing?Pakistan took immediate delays like the Americans during the Katrina.every1 was there to help,civilians,army men,the Prez himself.But it was still so messed still is=s...peech thinks Qayamat's here,nd amma made a gud point of y tht might be true:the tsunami,both hurricanes,earthquakes,land slides in Guatemala.Its scary.and incomprehensible.Death is unbelievably close to all of us.U cud be getting ready for school/college on a perfectly glorious Saturday morning,and next moment,the whole building's on top of yu.=(.meesa dont wanna least,not by a natural disaster.Lord,can u hear me?

Sunday, October 02, 2005


the very first chot i remember was wen i memory gets stuck in weird places,i remember the weirdest of things.but thts how far it goes.kher,i fell off haroon's little bike,tht i thought i cud ride cuz i was older,tuffer,stronger.little did i kno,it was a kiddy bike,not as fast as i wanted it to be.i over-accelerate it,it goes skidding down the driveway,with me squealing in delight.driveway khatam ho raha hai,lekin the bike's not stopping.ok,brake,brake,BRAKEEEE!it skids,i topple onto the pavement, on a gloriously sunny summer afternoon.shitbloodow*crying*owowow'saira?!'shitthishurtsHELP.chachoo comes running towards me...'awww zaloo baby,u fell?com ere'.he scoops me off the warm pavement,nd goes inside to clean my wound.its all better,with ointment and bandages.a week l8r,the scab falls off,revealing new,pale skin.i feel protected as i touch the shiny new layer,proud tht my body's white cells haven't let me down.
scabs leave marks on u.the real ones,and the traumatic ones.the ones which have blood and flesh pouring out of em,nd the ones who just stay ingrained in ur memory...forever...the good scabs,the bad wen u touch them,u either smile,or harden inside.and as we grow up,our scabs grow deeper,other ones take their place,nd we start living in a world of scabs.its all about the scabs i tell u.emotional ya asal.nd the funny thing is,u remember every single one of a scent/accessory/itty bitty thing is person-specific.eyebrow studs r specific to abby.polo blue wala is gul.home-made cookies and monopoly is saif.chai nd kebabs r saba.aromatics elixir is mom.they're all scabs.wen u touch em,the person just apparates into ur mind nd u go 'ooooooh...*smile*'.so yes,wat a wonerful world of scabs we live in:)

Saturday, October 01, 2005

boys r stupid

Woman's Prayer:
Lord, before I lay me down to sleep I pray for a man, who's not a creep; One who's handsome, smart and strong, One who's willy is thick and long. One who thinks before he speaks, When he promises to call, he won't wait weeks. I pray that he is gainfully employed, And when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows just what to say, when I ask "How big's my behind?" One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin', In the hall, the loo, the garden and kitchen! I pray that this man will love me to no end, And never attempt to shag my best friend. And as I kneel and pray to my bed, I look at the creep you sent me instead.

Man's Prayer:
Lord, I pray for a nympho with huge boobs who owns a beer store.

pagal compy

Swift has sailed into his rest.
Savage indignation there
cannot lacerate his breast.
Imitate him if you can,
world-besotted traveler.
He served human liberty.
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry- the best gesture of my brain is less than your eyelids'

kc stories.

shud i be very honest?or over-exaggerate to plz u?i think the former will do.for me at least.its not as bad as i thought it wud be.really nd truly.i havent come across a single lesbian,no hostelite has asked the night guard to sleep with her,nd none of the teachers are hot enuff to make u drool(except one).its oddly peaceful,serene,and HUGE.huge,huge nahin.but quite big all the same.i walk enuff to lose 10 lbs i think.all day,kulsoom nd me play personality games (i've learned quite a lot about myself),gossip about judith mcnaught,i tell her my love life probs,which she finds hilarious and has NO solution to them watsoever hahaha.she's managed to make me attend all the general subs classes,which was weird but i'm thnkful tht we dont have pyscho!rasti nd bano come nd go,drift in and out b/w their frnds.bano's o-b-s-c-e-n-e hahahahah,talking about *ahem* censored stuff a bit too loudly,nd rasti's just rasti.she's been tht for 5 yrs nd i luv her for it:).

other ppl:ayesha,alina,nabiha,mehr and errmm,other ppl who's names i dont remember but kno by face,r also nice.talkable ppl.nabiha's a cutie,she's sucha technically,i dont have ne grudge against the administration (Ira Hassan's a gem),or the crowd(quite a majority of them kno about kajal),or the canteen food.also,the best thing about it is,i can continue my weirdness there,still be stared at,nd not feel weird!:).like the day i walked around with a hedgehog sticker on my forehead tht popped out of bano's english teacher was quite quite amused.
Eng Teacher:'What's the deal with tht sticker,Miss Haider?'
Me:'Ummm...i'm fond of stickers....err...on my forehead'
Eng Teacher:'That's very you have ne plans of removing it out of awkwardness or embarassment?'
Eng Teacher:*chuckle*.'All right then'
(entire class chuckles)
weird-grl-whose-name-i-dont-kno:'Errr...zahra?u have something on ur forhead'*makes weird gestures*
Me:'oh,yeah,i know.*grin*.its a sticker'
weird grl goes all confused,bechari.

or tht other time wen i climbed a magnolia fuscata and tried hanging on its branch.its our spot now.i think kc wud be gr8 in the winters.lying in the yummy dhoop,all the calmness sinking in and settling itself.our visits to some of the odd spots are becoming more frequent.the benches beneath the magnolia fuscata.the water cooler outside the sports centre.the pg block.(tht place is just odd in itself).the bricks wali area outside the reception.there's a tree right in the middle of kc,it luks like snakes are climbing all over it.thts the only tree i was scared to climb.nabiha laffed and laffed and laffed wen i climbed one tho.OH,the lamp posts r nice and square,nd its fun to stand on them too.i got scolded by the gardener.shit!i got scolded the other time too!for littering on the lushly green grass.*blush*.the canteen wala guys r're so FAST with their service.they shud work in McDonald's or something.the one who wears a lab coat (:s) has orange hair,nd doesnt even listen to wat u want,but produces it somehow in a plate neway.the other wala knos i want a creamy pop b4 i can say 'duh'.other than the intense walking,its all gud.the teachers are really nice,LITERATE.surprizing,haina?the human rights course i'm taking is really hot,its like taking law without actually taking law.there's a lot of reading tho *wrinkles nose*.

list of things tht i like about kc: the trees all have labels on them.
2.the halls r so horizontal.
3.the walls r so high.
4.there's only an hr's class(10 mins r taken up by the attendance list:))
5.its competitive and the grls rnt quite as dull as i thought they wud be.
6.i like the frnds i've made.

draft pad

i think i loved spongebob for all the right reasons.but then again,i think it matters who's wearing him=D(hot dUde no.46).cudnt he just wear *bling bling*?!i mean,no doubt it was written all over his face,but still.OH i have an idea!the stamping thingie tht anam hayat did at the concert?about how if u get two stamps,ur hot?i shud do tht.just go around randomly stamping ppl who i think r hot.WOO hOO!thtd be soooooo much fun!
*rolls on the floor in peals of laughter*imagine the luks on ppl's faces?!?set ho ga kafi.nd the stamp shud be a tweety one,like mine.and abbass,tweety is a HE.a he,he,he.


now tht i've officially declared the gender of the most adorable cartoon character(Apart frm Bubbles) around,i shall move on.has it ever happened,tht wen u want to be most intelligent,nd give all the right answers,u always turn out being the opp,nd doing the opp??thts exactly wat happened to me the other day.trying to be super-superior with words and overly verbose.*sigh*.nd then i was just stared at.'uhhh...yea.neway' was the reply.
tht never happens!i usually keep my cool man!hello mister,i'm sorry for being so blank nd stupid.i guess i was too busy picking my jaw off the floor wen i saw u,so shut up and talk to me like i'm a normal person.neway.zilch chance tha waisay bhi,i mean,wat was i THInkinG?farigh hona bohot pain in the ass hai waisay.nd taking pics is fun.oh,a word of advice:never pamper ur little brother-it never pays,the asshole forgets it the second u refuse to give ur phone for a txt msg.bc.

mani was right waisay,vanilla bubble baths rnt so bad.apart frm the fact tht food shudnt be made into perfumes/body sprays/bubble baths etc.,etc.,nd ke mujhe bday pe VANILLA sab kuch mila hai (*yuck*),it wasnt so bad.i was about to eat the bubbles haahaahhahahah.LUMs jana feels so desperate bhai.matlab,wannabe-ish.which is exactly wat it is,kamaal made me realise it,i didnt even bother:(.moreso wen i gasp audibly in front of ppl who i thought were cute once-upon-a-time-ago,nd havent seen them in God knos how long,nd then i just c them standing there.i have SOME right to react,haina?so wat if i gasped a bit too loudly than intended hub?i'm with now i hesitate everytime i go there.oddness,oddness,oddness.:(.
u kno wats weird?i never got to like bob dylan,bruce springsteen or bryan adams.all the B's.they're just....weird:s.nd so is tht john denver wala u fill me up with something.aukhay log aur aukhay ganay,its just too much i tell i'm biting my lip cuz there's just so much going in my head tht i havent vented for so long,nd now i'm just blaady confuzid:(