Tuesday, January 31, 2006

things that pop into my head when i think of certain people

fooki:peechyyyyyyyy!=D.and dirty harry...
saba:galian,out-dated combat boots and chai.
chuggi:laffter.uncontrollable,heart-warming peals of laffter.aur piercings bhi:s.
manno:her 'relax,ur here' smile...makes me feel at home it does...
beebs:nothing can go wrong wen beebs is around.other than tht,finding nemo,5 am parathas and suttas=D.
saif:lots of funny,intellectual outbursts.zero mood swings (his,not mine).
complan:excessive bonding over complete bullshit for 3+ hrs.then no contact for 6 months=)
mani:GOOCHY BOOCHY!hahahahaha...nd a whole truck load of crap i dont know how to say...
mozez:big nose,big heart and bigger mouth=D
ali:awiiiiiiii!star wars,lecturing and being cheap to say in the least;)
sal:star-counting...*sigh*...i miss tht...
rasti:'my humps'!nd....er...a lot of violence and nudity = s (ask me i'll explain hahahahahhahah)
bia:lost little girl look.i LOVE her ahahaha.
mehar:wildness hiding behind the veneer of a 22-yr-old sophisticated woman.she laffs at my jokes and likes coffee:)
anum awan:fucking talented and GORJUS.she's going to do my bridal photoshoot inshallah.
kamil:most ingenious 16 yr old i know.gup shup.lots of it.
murty:'zh,pata tumhara masla kya hai?u know too many ppl...'..thnx murty,i love u too:)
fish:conversational wizard.i'm never bored in his company.
saphiya:sweetheart with a lot of spunk;)
abdul:a likeable psychotic asshole.i want his 'feminist' t-shirt.
pavel:hahahaha mera cheap indian songs ganay wala companion!hahahahaha
mkay:wild,crazy,nonchalant bastard.pizza at his house onlee pliss.
mesh:onion-layered,talks much sense boy.
mina+sana:beauty and brains unite perfectly here.
irtiqa:bhai yaar,KYA naam hai iss ka?i'm such a huge fan and he dont even kno..lol...
ahmar:hahahahahah good,funny,reliable to not wake up.awkward nose.
mr.d int:haiiiiii he is soOOoO WANT-able.....
hub:dreamer.mentor.lots of talk and no bullshit.
vine:*beep*! hi i'm insane:D.no,i'll never forget the day he brot me fooooood yay!
saleha:she's so PURRty!
crispy:*ting*.frolic comes in short packages too:D
lashari:fun doesnt end here:D.and neither does well-needed advice...i love you!
zahra:loud,shrill,HUGGAblE baby of mine.3 am waffles,old songs,lots and lots of stories and sheesha in tubs;)
durrani:dudoooooooo:D
amal:gorjus gorjus gorjus.perfection personified.
joo:she's actually funny hahahahaha.and sensitive:.
abidan:yaar,full kism ki chaa gayi hai ye aurat.breakfast and photoshoots at her place onlee pliss.
abbass:lean,mean,grinding machine:D
ehsan:'stayin alive' baybeh!also,his razaai and his sunglasses.tweed coat?naaaaah.hehe.
james:whiny amreekan.
bass:the best neighbour ne1 cud ever ask for:D

ummmmmmmm....thts it for now...ne1 i've forgotten,it cuz i hate you.really.:)

Sunday, January 29, 2006

mein boreded ho rahi hoon.

i'm tired of waiting for mani's story:p

Thursday, January 26, 2006

dil se

Yesterday on tv,I saw this song that I've been listening to since I was 12,but had'nt heard in a while.And I realized that this was only at that point that I had actually understood the lyrics...suddenly it all made sense why I loved the song so much...look into it,and maybe you'll see it too=)

Dil se re...dil se re (x2)
Dil tou aakhir dil hai na
Meethi si mushkil hai na
Piyaaaa piya
Piya,piya,piya na piya..
Jiya,jiya,jiya na jiya..
Dil se re...


(intro only.baki gana abhi bhi nahin samajh aata:p)

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

*sigh*

nida died.she's DEAD.i just...can't get her face out of my head.all the time we spent together,the way she bisto-fied me in the nicest possible way,her huge smile and overly-eccentric stories.i used to be in complete aew of her boldness,her attitude and the way she intimidated every single thing in her reach.Her unsuccessful attempts at being more of a girl than she was,and not pouting later on when she couldn't get anything done right.She punched walls instead=).I still have her bday cards upstairs....

i'm so numb.i can't believe so many people are just slipping away from me....

Thursday, January 19, 2006

south of the border,west of the sun

Dear Zahra H,
This is for you when you're feeling poetic-this is for you to read when you need a hand or a shoulder,or a heart or a soul.This is for you on rainy days,and on bittersweet days when the world's too cold to venture out.
Love,Saif H.


i love you man.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

[insert hard,sad word]

When I used to be a kid,the slightest sign of a breakdown from my mom made me horribly sad.When we used to live in the US and Nani used to write to us,mom wept.And it broke my heart cuz I couldn't make her stop.I knew she was sad and she missed her family,but that was no reason to cry,I used to talk to myself.I mean,she was a mom,moms were supposed to be the strongest people in the world,right?That's one of the reasons I made her promise not to cry when Nana or Nani died.She said nothing.
Then we moved here.And my life changed.For the better or the worse,I can't decide.I lost my childhood to the circumstances around me,realized that everything is not what it seems,and people aren't really who you think they are.My mother's tears made me cry out of helplessness.They made me cry out of realization,out of hate,out of guilt.Her tears never seemed to end,and I started getting angry with her.What did she call herself independent for?Where was her God now?How was her intelligence helping her?I become hardened to the pain she felt,and the pain that I indirectly felt.So much so,that her sorrow didn't effect me anymore.I would rather hide in my corner and be distracted easily then to come to terms with stuff that should've been dealt with.Now I cried out of hate,out of guilt and negligence.It didn't make any sense,nothing did anymore.Everything was a blur.
But yesterday was different.Yesterday me and mom cried like one person.We cried for all the sadness and joy that came our way,for all the compromises that never really paid off,in tribute to true and false love,and to us and the lives we lead.And that's where I realized flub,i had made my choice.I just forgot when i made it.

:p

i found out today that boys are in it just for the sex.



gande bachay.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

stars:your ex-lover is dead

When there is nothing left to burn
You have to set yourself on fire

God that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said "yes I think we've met before"
In that instant it started to pour

Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of that time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name

This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
You tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
And now you're outside me you see all the beauty
Repent all your sin

It's nothing but time and a face that you'll lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news
From the house down the road, from real love

Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back

There's one thing I want to say so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted, I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save




(now go cry your eyes out)

something folklore

Buy me a pair of shoes,my lover
A pair of shoes with stars on them
Sell your buffalo,if you have to
But buy me a pair of shoes
With stars on them.

Friday, January 13, 2006

'Hey',she said as she stopped reading.
He looked at her sideways.'Hmmm...?'
'I was just thinking...its turned out exactly like you said it would.How come you're always right?'
He chuckled and continued to play with the wine in his glass.
She traced the design on her kurti.The fire sparkled in the background.She smiled to herself remembering how it all began.And he smiled too,not only cuz he knew what she was thinking about,but because her smile was so infectious.It was all simple really.She rested her head in his lap and continued reading,while he started playing with her tresses.The room glowed with the warmth in their hearts as they revelled in their absolute,platonic love for each other.Really,it was all very simple=).

Monday, January 09, 2006

sheep-counting at 2:21am

Hub's right.So what if he's benigered?Or pretentious?Maybe I'm too young to think of old things.But that doesn't mean I dont like my flick-ity haircut;).Its true I ponder on what he says,and one thing's for sure:dreamers get nowhere.But he just makes realism such a sad,tiring state to live in.True,I am the centre of my own universe,kinda like what Aqualung says 'you turn every head but you don't see me'.I think of myself as a quite a head-turner of some sort(oh,sod off,this is MY realm),but the way hub drills 'the real world' into my head is like......a white oleander floating in a swamp......or a square in a room full of circles....acha yaar,pata nahin.koi point thaa iss ke beech mein lekin woh gumm ho gaya hai.However,I do wonder who aly khan is.I want to ask him what it feels like to be randy=D.



I don't know why,but I just can't wait for Keepay's story.It'll...I dunno...sorta tell me what he actually thinks about the 'princess'....what she's like,who does he think she is,and what she really means to him.Too bad if he reads this...hope it doesn't make him contemplate what to write and what not to write...KEEPAY IF YOU'RE READING THIS YOU CAN'T EDIT YOUR STORY!Bas.khattam baat.


Its retardedly cold,and my bum is as cold as the tip of my nose,which is very cold.
People I'd like to get to know someday(as in,have good taluqaats with):
  1. Mina and Sana Malik(they continue to perpetually interest me,probably cuz i never had big sisters to tell me stories=D)
  2. Irtiqa wala banda.(brilliant writer.absolutely brilliant.I wonder where he gets his ideas from?)
  3. Dave Matthews(fucking amazing)
  4. Saad Butt (aaaahahahhaha,he's funny=D)
  5. fishy(same reason as above)
  6. jerry lewis(I like his name)
  7. Robin Williams(he had me ever since Aladdin)
  8. All my USA cousins...(we've drifted apart)

ummmm.abhi ke liye itne hee log yaad hain:s

you know whats not fair anymore?Being good at something.Doesn't matter how well you sing/cook/eat/write/play the guitar/pratice Tai Chi,there's always,always someone else out there who's gonna be better at it than you.Thats why there's no use being 'the bestest friend anyone's ever had',cuz someone's doing a better job at being 'bestest'.

Ammi kehti hain namaz/sparah parha karo,kuch Khuda ka khuaf karo.koi Allah ka banda hai aisa jo mujhe yaad dilaa de ke mein ne ek din marna bhi hai?*sigh*

Abbu jaan's mint leaves and rasberry patch...*reminiscing*...mmmmmm....if I ever get to go to the US,I'm gonna climb out of Usman bhai's window,sit on the sittable side of Abbu jaan's slanting roof,suck on my big round lollipop,and watch the sun hide in the trees beyond.I'll want to be 5 again,running around the backyard with no shoes on,and stumble in the over-grown grass.I know that the mint leaves and rasberry patch is gone,but just lying there thinking about the times they were there would be enough.Once upon a time,I too,had no worries.I'd do anything...anything....to bring back that feeling once more.

*end rant and cut*

Sunday, January 08, 2006

*ROAR*


pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms
pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms pms.

dont cry if I snap at you.life is NOT pleasant at the moment.or any moments when I'm pmsing.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Rose Petal Tissues That Smell Like Men



Althought I have a brother,I'd rather smell other men than him=/.Anyway,so yea its been a while since I've smelled a man up-close and personal.Recollection to-date;when someone was packing their stuff in a room in isloo,while I wrote one of the most inane letters I've ever written in my life.Then when you were getting ready for Hot Spot and took your famous '3-minute' shower=).Yea,so its been that long since I've actually smelled a man.However,I have come to an ingenious solution.ROSE PETAL TISSUES!=D.Sceneted walay jo hotay hain na,they smell like male cologne,and they're so YUM!I discovered them at someone's place,where I was supposed to be on my best behaviour cuz they were my mum's cousin's phupho's something.=s.So anyway,as I spilled juice on myself(obviously.How would I be Zahrah Haider if I didn't?),I reached for one of these divine,little,'smelled-good' thingies.And then I took an unusual amount of them and kept on stuffing them inside my jacket pocket when no one was looking.*snigger*.Haan so I don't think I need any men so satisfy my olfactory needs anymore.Pakistan Zindabad;).Adios!

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

A Long December-Counting Crows

another brilliant song,courtesy kani may:)



A long December, and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leavin'
Now the days go by so fast

And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think that I could be forgiven....I wish you would

The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that its all a lot of oysters, but no pearls
All at once you look across a crowded room
To see the way that light attaches to a girl

And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think you might come to California...I think you should

Drove up to Hillside Manor sometime after two a.m.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her

And its been a long December, and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass

And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
It's been so long since I've seen the ocean..I guess I should.

randomness

i have a new blog:S.dont ask me HOW.i just...have another one...i think they're addictive...nd they're out to get to me....as mani wud so fondly say WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF.

Monday, January 02, 2006

abstract collage of things unsaid


I'm wearing a certain jester hat
That's making me think a bit too much
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Talk a little lower
Bout the things you'd not show her.
Its been a long december,and
There's reason to believe,
Maybe this year will be better
Than the last....
I'm listening to a certain tune
feeling crazy...hopeful?full of remorse?what exactly?
amazing how much clarity comes with this mess of emotions
royal slumbers want to be disturbed..
so close,yet so far...nuts how I miss you,no?
Misery loves company
but i'm sure we'll figure something out...we must...
'Lost for you,i'm so-o-o lost...for you'
'Hold on,hold on to yourself,For this is gonna hurt like hell'
weird I know,but beautiful,beyond words...
you came first,and I wouldn't have it any other way:)
'girl you know I gotta go...oh..and Lord I wish it wasnt so'
the rain is soothing you know..I know I'm not the only one enjoying the grey skies..
I am no hero,oh,thats for sure,but I do know one thing,is where you are is where I belong.I do know where you go,is where I wanna be...
hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha.
Funny how this has turned out,when I least expected it.
honestly,I didnt expect to be liked:p.
no hopes,no nothing turned out to be
so many aspirations,waiting,wondering.
pull me through,pull me through this fake crowd and to where you are.
sing it please...please...please...come back and sing to me...to me..meee...
'light up,light up,as if you have a choice
even if you cannot hear my voice,I'll be right beside you dear...
I can hardly speak,I understand why you can't raise your voice to say...'
Just know that I love you,and you'll always be on my mind...

This one's for you,keepay=).




(doesnt mean its any good:s)