Wednesday, May 31, 2006

i'm scrounging about for the silliest pictures possible and scanning them.LOVELY TIMES I'VE HAD.and i think once upon a time my parents were in love...you know?cuz i'm looking through this hoard of memories..and i remember mom telling me how dad used to constantly sneak up on her and take a picture.he's like me.he likes capturing moments,even if they're not worth capturing,but they prove their worth when you come across them 15 years later,you know?that kinda thing he does,and i do.except i dont carry a camera around ALL the time..and when i cant take pictures,i write about things.

ok i forgot what i was going to blog about.*shakes fist at moe*

Thursday, May 25, 2006

I believe in memories,they look so..
so pretty when I sleep
and when I wake up you look so pretty
sleeping next to me
=)

*big star*

to red bull,kinky cheese toast,tattoos,piercings and the purple head bobbing up and down in the sun.today was a magical day and i love you all for making it that.

Monday, May 22, 2006

precious

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
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"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8
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"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
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"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
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"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
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"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
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"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
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"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8
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"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7
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"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6
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"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
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"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
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"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8
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"My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6
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"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5
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"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7
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"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
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"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7
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"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
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"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
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And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"
(baby,this one's for you=))

'my laptop is your bitch'

so i'm sitting here,correction,lying on my stomach in a mysteriously dark room,chuggi's feet on my ass,fooling around while she sleeps.she's such a complacent stuffed panda when she sleeps.its when she wakes up...

kher anyway.got a thaila full of tootsie roll candy.CANDY.candy.candy makes me happy.like super-hAPpy.she's got back from an unknown world..yet i cant help but think nothing's changed..sitting eating pasta on a stool...talking about random people and discuss how and what and why things happen.its the same,really.the only thing that's changed is time.so much time stretched in between.but i have this feeling that i'm going to get my life back this summer.i mean,just watching her run around screaming for no reason,getting used to the spirit of the ground beneath her,i know there's something familiar beneath her.and i know that there will be others who follow her soon.others who will want to feel what she is feeling right now.something i want to feel too.

this summer,i will rediscover myself.and i owe it all to you guys.i love you so much.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Sepia-toned lovin'

'Stop hitting me woman'

An era starts, unconciously, weirdly and almost accidentally. Do you want to know a secret? Well.there WERE no secrets. But there is one now. Do you hear the coke fizz quietly next to you? I do. But this time I'm alone. The pani wali coke which always has too much ice in it. It’s unfair to think that everything is ok when there was something so uncomfortable in the air the day you drove off when the sun was setting. I didn't realize what a huge chunk you took with you, and now I'm sitting here, thinking that shit,you really were my shadow.Shit.Whether I liked you around me or not was irrelevent,whats relevant is that you were always there. Its one of those things when you're somewhere anjaan, like...in Ethiopia or in Swaziland...and you see someone making a paratha and instant relief overcomes you in a strangely calm way.Thats what I felt when I saw you walking,all lanky and bent over cuz everyone else in the world is so much more chota than you.

it doesn’t matter if I argue with someone whether the cream-coloured powdery stuff in pizza hut is crushed garlic or dry cheese. been there done that. ages ago. eons ago. I’ve grown up since then, and I know you have too. minus abandoning the lankiness, I know you've grown up into something I look at in awe now. something that might slip away so I have to hold on to it real tight.pehle I honestly thought I could close my eyes and be there bilkul abhi ke abhi.so I could pull you and trample all over you and chase you around like I used to when we were kids. did I ever tell you you were a weird looking kid? With the whole 'slim shady' song that you wud sing, completely out of sync? Did I ever tell you that there was an instant connection beCAUSE of that weirdness? The fact that you’re abnormally large nose and my abnormally large feet made us twins?

There is an uneasiness that lurks in the dark corner of ur room by the black bookshelf. it looks at me when I pass to use the loo.its weird when you make me laugh cuz ur sitting awkwardly in the chair ur too big for, or when we're making fun of the shape on Rachel’s purse, cuz the uneasiness rushes around the room like a mouse.silently, swiftly, but its so right there that you can hardly miss it. I don’t know what you might call it, but I call it the future. I see it when I’m sitting alone in your room going through ur drawers to find something else, yet coming across something far more important. I see it when I’m packing your stuff and looking out the window cuz the dust collects around us. Its there when we cruise around eating blueberry muffins and stop at green lights for no reason.

Hanste bohot ho tum.
----
khoye huey dinon mei bas gaye thay hum. laut jao. udhero naa. bas gaye they hum mitti mei chup ho ker. laut jao. udhero naa. uljha diya zamaane mei jo humko tumne. laut jao. udhero naa.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

If only pain could be more physical,so it could leave visible scars and not invisble ones.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

she lies there from dawn till dusk,watching the sun set on her story.

miracle child

The tears mix with the water running down her face.She cries..she..with her chipped pink nailpolish,her unfixable smile,her daunting gaze.She's hollow inside,empty as a train tunnel.so much space,and nothing to fill it with.She sits...she..with the stars scornful at her,her God mocking..there is nothing to make this better.Maybe death..too feeble a thought.she knows she can't do it,but thinking about the escape fills her with temporary ecstacy.There she goes...she..who is nothing at all to herself..who is something for everyone but herself..


She breaks the glass thinking it will bring about something.anything.pain,screaming,sympathy.kind of like why Gikonyo cuts himself with the barbed wire.to feel.But anyway.She crumbles,stares,throws targets in the air.She is after all,the miracle child.She is what everyone hoped for.
pick me up now,
i need you so bad..

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

6 days man....













SHIT

Sunday, May 07, 2006

hera

I only wish I could catch the glitter in her eye.To put it somewhere safe so as to give it back to her whenever the light went out.She walked straight and proud,high and mighty.She owned the world,she did.But no one knew that.It was a secret she would reveal only after she was high and mighty.When the world would stop choking on its own dust and live a little.


She wasn't extraordinary,oh no.But the thing that tugged at your heart and drowned you somewhere deep and blissful was the way her smile met her eyes,so you could tell it was genuine and that there really was no need to fake it.Its what drew you to her,instantly and discreetly,you want to know what she's chuckling about.You want in.Like you always have cuz of you're lonely existence.But you glance at her again squealing with glee as she dives into laughter,and you think you've been saved.


Yep,she's here now.She's going to change your life forever,and you won't even know what hit you till she's gone.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOM


BLOGGER'S WORKING AGAIN

OMGOMGOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMGM

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

silly nillys

Zh~*:
BUAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAH
Zh~*:
*points and laughs*
bhai yaar:
WHAT WHAT?
Zh~*:
you didn't wake up=D.buahahahah.
bhai yaar:
I DID!
bhai yaar:
I DID I DID
bhai yaar:
AND I RAN
bhai yaar:
AND THERE WERE 15 WINDOWS!
bhai yaar:
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Zh~*:uhhh...



anum says:
ahahahaha omg i love you baby
Zh~*: staaaaaay ... says:
dude.
Zh~*: staaaaaay ... says:
it was one of those moments tht i'll remember till....ever...
anum says:
ahahahahahahha i love you babe..
anum says:
omg..ive never said that have i?
Zh~*: staaaaaay ... says:
nope
anum says:
well now ive said it. twice.
anum says:
and incase i never thanked you for saving my ass when i was applying to oxford..ill thank you now..
anum says:
and for meaning so much to gul..thanks...
anum says:
and for generally feeding me and chauferring me around..thanks
Zh~*: staaaaaay ... says:
ok,i'm gonna cry now...stop=p.

'ummm....you must've notice your shoes in the bathroom b....by the..uh..toilet...'*embarassed*
'oh yeah I did.oh no,don't be embarasssed!if its any consolation,yours are by the washing machine...'*suddenly embarassed*
'hhahahahahahahahahhahahaa'


Mani says:
you know what we should do
Mani says:
we should draw lines on floors!!!!!!!
Zh~*:full power 24 hr no shit no shower..mein kampf..sex sisters..i predict a riot..3,2,1..poopy=D..gay cowboys dont win..=p says:
WITH
Zh~*:full power 24 hr no shit no shower..mein kampf..sex sisters..i predict a riot..3,2,1..poopy=D..gay cowboys dont win..=p says:
BOARD MARKERS



Mani says:
manis drinking too much milk
Zh~*:full power 24 hr no shit no shower..mein kampf..sex sisters..i predict a riot..3,2,1..poopy=D..gay cowboys dont win..=p says:
acha hai na
Zh~*:full power 24 hr no shit no shower..mein kampf..sex sisters..i predict a riot..3,2,1..poopy=D..gay cowboys dont win..=p says:
goray kids
Mani says:
hes FAT
Zh~*:full power 24 hr no shit no shower..mein kampf..sex sisters..i predict a riot..3,2,1..poopy=D..gay cowboys dont win..=p says:
SHUT UP
Mani says:
fat mani happens to good people
Zh~*:full power 24 hr no shit no shower..mein kampf..sex sisters..i predict a riot..3,2,1..poopy=D..gay cowboys dont win..=p says:
hahahahahaaahaahahhahahhahahhahahahaahhaahahaha


saif...and will never, never. says:
and i'm coming in two weeks
x Zh~*: egyptian cocktails says:
I KNOW
saif...and will never, never. says:
x Zh~*: egyptian cocktails says:
*does crazy celebration dance*
saif...and will never, never. says:
hahah
saif...and will never, never. says:
*joins you in crazy celebration dance*


anum says:
lovers hold hands to numbd their pain
anum says:
gripping tightly to something they will never own
anum says:
but i'm not a high flier anymore
anum says:
why do you still hang around?


Zh~*: hot voice meets hot face .... says:
no but like
Zh~*: hot voice meets hot face .... says:
i have PROOF
Mota Mani says:
SHOW ME PROOF THEN!!!!!
Zh~*: hot voice meets hot face .... says:
*SHOWS STOMACH CRAMP*
Mota Mani says:
OUCH
Mota Mani says:
okay okay you WINNNNNNNNN


Kamil... - PK 228/137: i have simply wanted object to crave. says:
i like some pop too
Kamil... - PK 228/137: i have simply wanted object to crave. says:
just not bubblegum pop!
Kamil... - PK 228/137: i have simply wanted object to crave. says:
im judging im judgin
Kamil... - PK 228/137: i have simply wanted object to crave. says:
TIM MCGRAW
Kamil... - PK 228/137: i have simply wanted object to crave. says:
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
Kamil... - PK 228/137: i have simply wanted object to crave. says:
DID YOU JUST BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE
Zh~*:ज़र zbaby says:
LISTEN
Zh~*:ज़र zbaby says:
ITS LIKE
Zh~*:ज़र zbaby says:
A PLAYLIST
Zh~*:ज़र zbaby says:
OUT OF MY CONTROL WALA SYSTEM
Zh~*:ज़र zbaby says:
AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Monday, May 01, 2006

solemnity

I mutter on prayer beads,waiting for miracles to happen.

And then you came along.

Its not enough though...its never enough...
Stop toying with my mind God...its not going in Your favour...I'm believing in You less and less everyday..if You loved me enough,You would make an effort to call me back..show me something so I can..cuz I wanna be someone who believes...
The only reason I feel so inferior is you.You try so hard otherwise..but I don't understand whats going on in your head...I'm cleaning out my closet..I think it'll make you happy..but i doubt it..you're never happy..you've never BEEN happy..and I know its his fault..and that we're the ones who have to take the shit for it...we're the ones who have to deal with the consequences..do you realize how hard it is for us sometimes?You constantly reminding us what a shit time you've spent..and how your life has just eroded away..its your own fault,really..even God doesn't like so much patience..try letting me go..and you'll see that I will come back...