Monday, May 15, 2006

Sepia-toned lovin'

'Stop hitting me woman'

An era starts, unconciously, weirdly and almost accidentally. Do you want to know a secret? Well.there WERE no secrets. But there is one now. Do you hear the coke fizz quietly next to you? I do. But this time I'm alone. The pani wali coke which always has too much ice in it. It’s unfair to think that everything is ok when there was something so uncomfortable in the air the day you drove off when the sun was setting. I didn't realize what a huge chunk you took with you, and now I'm sitting here, thinking that shit,you really were my shadow.Shit.Whether I liked you around me or not was irrelevent,whats relevant is that you were always there. Its one of those things when you're somewhere anjaan, Ethiopia or in Swaziland...and you see someone making a paratha and instant relief overcomes you in a strangely calm way.Thats what I felt when I saw you walking,all lanky and bent over cuz everyone else in the world is so much more chota than you.

it doesn’t matter if I argue with someone whether the cream-coloured powdery stuff in pizza hut is crushed garlic or dry cheese. been there done that. ages ago. eons ago. I’ve grown up since then, and I know you have too. minus abandoning the lankiness, I know you've grown up into something I look at in awe now. something that might slip away so I have to hold on to it real tight.pehle I honestly thought I could close my eyes and be there bilkul abhi ke I could pull you and trample all over you and chase you around like I used to when we were kids. did I ever tell you you were a weird looking kid? With the whole 'slim shady' song that you wud sing, completely out of sync? Did I ever tell you that there was an instant connection beCAUSE of that weirdness? The fact that you’re abnormally large nose and my abnormally large feet made us twins?

There is an uneasiness that lurks in the dark corner of ur room by the black bookshelf. it looks at me when I pass to use the loo.its weird when you make me laugh cuz ur sitting awkwardly in the chair ur too big for, or when we're making fun of the shape on Rachel’s purse, cuz the uneasiness rushes around the room like a mouse.silently, swiftly, but its so right there that you can hardly miss it. I don’t know what you might call it, but I call it the future. I see it when I’m sitting alone in your room going through ur drawers to find something else, yet coming across something far more important. I see it when I’m packing your stuff and looking out the window cuz the dust collects around us. Its there when we cruise around eating blueberry muffins and stop at green lights for no reason.

Hanste bohot ho tum.
khoye huey dinon mei bas gaye thay hum. laut jao. udhero naa. bas gaye they hum mitti mei chup ho ker. laut jao. udhero naa. uljha diya zamaane mei jo humko tumne. laut jao. udhero naa.


mo. said...

*speechless* i love you woman.

and it IS CHEESE!
and i DO know how to SPEAK urdu ACHAWW!

ManiK said...

cheese? really?

i ALWAYS thought it was garlic...

Amal said...

Its so easy to forget Z. We cannot cherish memory or learn our lessons from it. The best we can do is remember. Just always remember and WRITE it down, like this, so it can become a little bit of every- one's memory.