Friday, July 21, 2006

not unordinary

Well.You've managed to turn out to be the exact diety I imagined you to be.Demanding and unforgiving.I hope you know that I know what you want/think from/about me and that I'm so fucking predicatable.I would be,if I talked.Do you realize how much I talk to you and behind you?Its like two different dimensions altogether.I never asked for you to be my friend,to give something to me,to be there inconsistently as you have all these years at the back of a crowded classroom that warm October day.When things happen,you don't run away.Why don't you ever be glad,it melts into wonder?I wish you would stop looking for what you're looking for:anarchy,coffee grinds,and peace in Lebanon.For someone who responds prefectly.Cuz we all speak x and y.Not zog.Never zog.
Why does it always have to be about someone being something?Masked heroes?Failed politicians and empty houses?You're so ashamed of everything.Of everyone being who they are:ordinary.Which is why I wore that neckalce you gave me in secret sometimes;to be someone you would be proud of,someone you would stand up for,as I do.I'm not sorry I failed you.Like you said,you're nothing special.Heh,you don't even know anything a 'friend' should kno.No secrets,no lies,no nuances.Nothing.Just something you may have created from a figment of your never-ending imagination.Probably Cinderella.

'go back to being special'-that was very cruel.I forgive you for your indecision.You are only a man.

1 comment:

mehar said...

baby you arrre special, dont let any one tell you any different.
you my girl.:)
God speed.