Saturday, April 28, 2007
Actually,I'm no one to be giving music advice/suggestions nowadays,I'm listening to psychedelic folk,a new-age hippie music of some sort,and all of the artists are scary looking.Very Jesus-y,bearded (in the case of men),most probably don't shower and girls wear frocks their grandmothers probably wore when they went to school in the gallows.They all like to drink red wine and wear capes while they sing,have tons of natural light around them and just...be.Existing as quietly as they possible can.Touring in places like Poland and fucking...Russia.But of course,the world is constantly discovering new things and wanting to want to know about things no one knows about yet,and nowadays its psychedelic folk.I don't know what I'm trying to say,but I'm making sense to myself and really,that's all that matters.Anyhoo,so these people are like,nomads in the Great Americas,moving from place to place,giving interviews in wife beaters and bandannas and all of a sudden,people from the Rolling Stone,Elle and Jimmy Kimmel want them.I don't know why I'm talking about music.Maybe because Devendra is staring at me from my wall and thinking 'what the FUCK am I doing here'.I swear I placed him in the most awkward position on my wall so he's the first thing I look at when I wake up in the morning or come up the stairs (cuz my room's right in front),and since he's all tan and dark-haired,he scares the fucking bejesus out of me.I mean,its possibly his sexiest pose ever (apart from the tree climbing one),but yeah.He does kind of look like a child molester,and the funny part is I think he's cool with that.Then there's this Lily Allen look-alike who's all dolled up in neon pink,yellow and blue and she's winking at me,and it just makes me wonder what the FUCK is up with my wall collage.
Gloss is a must have,light pinkish/nude shades.Shopping is not only an art,its an outlet.I am much more of an outdoor person than I ever thought I was.Maybe its cuz I have that environment now.I would be happy living in the woods or by the ocean or in a cave minus the bats.Nature is so fucking awesome.Smells right and makes for an excellent background.
Hmm what else.Met Stephanie today.She hugged me so tight,and she's so awesome I kind of hate her being with Sherif.But whatever,none of my business.Ooh and the amount of drama here is almost,if not the same,as anywhere.Like we were talking about Judi and I felt so proud of how Z just brushed it off and was all like 'Well..if she breaks up with him and needs a shoulder to cry on,I'll be there'.And Salima with her very nonchalant air of going about things.Lacey with her pink mane.Me just...me.Floating among it all.
I desperately want to learn the piano.I think pianos are absolutely amazing and the way the music comes out is simply mesmerizing.Plus I want my fingers to feel a tad bit more useful.All they seem to do nowadays is type and punch in numbers on calculators.
I don't know how to deal with goray larkay.Maybe I'm just uncomfortable as to how they're so open about everything.I mean,Ali is too,but he's just always been that way.When Matt hugs me for too long,or Kevin offers concert tickets and coffee and Wheely Boy calls all the time,it totally pisses me off.I guess since I'm not going back I might as well get used to it.
I can't decide whether or not Snape will betray.
Anyone is capable of anything,you know.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Hokie Hope day makes me wish we had more compassion for the world.Like that Facebook group says 'What happened at Virginia Tech happens everyday in Palestine'.So I stopped feeling sad and stopped having nightmares,I had become so insensitive to what was going on elsewhere.
I've started listening to a lot of unconventional,new-age hippie stuff.Flowery prose,quivering vocals,acoustic intstruments;the works.Dad thinks I will soon want to get very high and dance around in circles with hair till my knees.As if I don't dance in circles already.
I'm forcing myself to write,so I can start again.I don't have anything to say anymore,all words fail me.Everything I want to say is reflected in things around me,the grass,the sunsets,people.I feel like if I even so much as hint conversation,it will disturb the general order of the ongoing world.So I've resorted to the silent listener who cleverly eavesdrops,the watcher who pretends to be uninterested in the passer-by troupe,the joker who smiles at tiny things.Just to be lost in a place full of people.In an airport or a university or in a concert.When nobody knows you and you don't have to know anyone.No strings attached.Just sway with the general flow of things,and there will be nothing particularly unique about you.
I often imagine bumping into someone famous,or remotely famous,and ponder as to what my reaction would be.I would probably chew gum,my ego as big as the oak tree,and walk around till they ask me for an autograph and a picture.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Sometimes I look at him walking, and his feet are disproportionate with his hands. I don’t know quite how to describe it, its like they’re curved outwards. Or inwards. Depends on the angle. And then I think, what am I doing? I really don’t need to go into such detail. Detail is unnecessary. Detail is where we all fuck up in the end.