Sunday, October 28, 2007

a little bit,sometimes.

i like the look of 'i want but can't have'.i actually love those looks.they remind me of songs,smiles,things that could have been said,what people could have become,and stories that could have unravelled.

it could be potentially dangerous.lead you to do silly things that you should do anyway to get some kind of closure.
i have that look right now.
for you.
you know who you are.

Saturday, October 27, 2007


  • 9 Crimes
  • Teardrop
  • I bet you look good on the dancefloor
  • In the air
  • Gold Lion
  • Dig
  • Go with the flow
  • Lion's mane

Hopefully,this will be us.soon.

Friday, October 26, 2007

i know i'm a mess that he don't wanna clean up'
fiona apple-

makes so much sense,that line does)

Friday, October 05, 2007


Its the little things in life that make us do terribly maigcal deeds.No matter who you are,you never forget who you were.This is not about turning a new leaf every time you hear a song that moves you,its about life reminding you to keep the old one somewhere so it can't hide.I threw my bag down and glared at him,and he glared back,his eyes as big as his head.And then the shouting began and all of a sudden I was 10 again,being shoved into a corner trying to escape this newly evolved monster.No matter what happens,where I will be,what will happen to us,he will always manage to make me cry.Always.I cry because I don't understand the unfairness of it all.How far will I be able to stretch myself till I become inelastic and deformed?How many times will my own flesh and blood storm away from me?

So this is what dying feels like.Unable to breathe,your bones popping out,you retch but nothing messy happens.Your handwriting becomes squiggly and jaggedy and you don't recognize the person in the mirror.

I wonder how I always manage to jinx myself.The second I say 'life is good',something I can't grasp with my fingertips happens.Life will always remind you that the old leaf is still right where you left it to go frolick in the plagirised version of heaven.

Monday, October 01, 2007

the shepherd's dog

Sitting listening to Sam Beam as I simultaneously look at the concert pictures.I am so fucking glad in a kind of unbelievable way that he's flesh and blood and not just a figment of my imagination.I actually reached out and looked into those very humane blue eyes.Ashley's like 'ooh crush' and I'm like 'ARE YOU KIDDING?'.I would rather gladly babysit all 4 of his children if he wanted to go on a honeymoon with his wife.The level of respect I have for that man has quadrupled since the other night.My legs hurt,my feet ache and I'm spinning,but there are no words to describe how my mind feels.Physically or emotionally.Every song etched in my mind,my brain twisting to become a new shape that defines the music I adore and the people who make it.Sam,Devendra,Sigur Roz,MAW,YYYs.So many others.They will change constantly,but thats ok.

Memories are here to stay.