Wednesday, May 06, 2009

i need to stop.

horrific, horrific, horrific images i've been seeing lately. in the span of 3 hours, i had 4 interconnected dreams. number one. the year is 2012.
i am looking for someone, and i am at the beach, along with almost everyone i know. scene change and we're walking on a bridge, me tenchee and divine. its one of those bridges that you can walk on and drive on at the same time, quite awesome, but its very very big and very long, and all of a sudden..it collapses. right where we're walking. there is a very big mess of concrete on concrete, cars spewed out of control, the sea below us roaring in delight, waiting to feast on yet another human. we are the only 3 pedestrians that are wounded, we are taken care of and then we move down to the beach. the sand is gray instead of...sand-colored, and the weather is smoggy. but for some reason its still nice. i am walking aimlessly and all of a sudden i see tenchee running towards me. 'AMMI JAAN RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, THEY'RE COMING', and i start running. i look ahead at our destination,and its the dark gray/blue ocean.i look behind us and very burly- looking men are at it, full speed. i don't know how or why i've gotten caught up in this mess, but it looks serios so i keep on running. 'TENCHEE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM'
' JUST FOLLOW ME I KNOW WHAT TO DO'. we run into the murky waves and start swimming towards a buoy which is also a lifeguard's hut. we get there before the really tall and brutally ugly man, and the lifeguard sees our panic and calls for a helicopter. the copter comes, throws down anchors to us, but by then the man is there and he grabs on to one of the anchors. meanwhile the raucous of the broken bridge can still be seen from here. The man grabs onto tenchee's hair and she screams out loud, i try to kick him but he grabs my leg. we somehow manage to escape, with him falling into the ocean. i'm still not sure why i was being chased, and even though we'd gotten away, the chase didn't seem to be off.
second and third dream : the year is god knows what, but the city is a mess, just like our lives. i am back from somewhere years later, and much has changed. i go around and meet some people, and i know that my brother lives in this city, but he has not returned any of my phone calls. i realize it has been very long, and he must have forgotten me. i instead go to some aunty's place, where she is going on and on about this magnificent adaptation of 'Chicago' that some young people have been doing and that i should really go watch it. even moreso because the lead actress- Summer, was/would be perfect for my brother, that they had a history and hopefully she lives long enough to see it through. my eyes well up for no apparent reason, and that very second, my brother calls and tells me to come over whenever i am free. i am now standing outside his....house..if you want to call it that. he lives more or less in the slums, a broken column is his staircase. his apartment complex is dark, with orange walls and bulb lights hanging by a single wire. he is smoking as usual, but he is taller now. His collared shirt have been folded up around his forearms and his hair is longer than i remember. we don't embrace or anything, it seems like a very formal, must-do meeting. i enter his place and the walls are orange here too, with high ceilings and more bulbs. there is a red carpet and a bunch of pillows lying on it (for furniture purposes i suppose). a woman sits, she has fiery orange hair and a round face. she is on the plumpish side and she is reading an art magazine. her big green eyes survey me and i look back at her with dullness. my brother sits on the other end of the carpet and smokes some more, and i start talking to him and talking and talking, i don't remember what about, but i know its all in Urdu so this lovely lady doesn't understand a word. she interrupts briefly by saying 'what a nice picture, no?' i glance over at her, and she seizes the moment to introduce herself ' hi, i'm summer. what's your name?'. 'i'm zahra, farooq's sister'. 'oh goodness! i didn't know he had any family left, so nice to meet you!' i look back at my brother in utter disgust and all i want to do is beat the shit out of him, i feel so hurt and betrayed by this orange-haired bimbo. but we are at the age in life and at that point where we just helplessly curve inwards. 'i came to tell you mom's dead'. he stays quiet for a minute, puffing away. ............'oh'.thats when i leave his place forever.
fourth: i am yet again being chased, this time by an old man, i feel like i knew him once. He is small and thin, he wears a traditional hat. But he has a glass eye and he runs very fast, and he tells me it doesn't matter what he wants me for, just the chase is enough.

4 comments:

Marina said...

Even I'm freaked out. Stop sleeping, I say =P The one about your brother really gave me the chills.

Zh. said...

i think that was the worst one for me too. someone can become so distant that no pain can touch them? that sucks.

Dreaminglass said...

We should get together and write a journal. The glass eye guy sounds like something I'd see in one of my dreams.

I also think i'm going to use that as a song title: It doesn't matter what I want you for, sometimes the chase is enough.

nb- said...

Before you go to sleep, tell yourself you don't want to remember your dream when you wake up.

Sometimes it works.