Wednesday, April 28, 2010

karunesh

You think about people. You think about their lips, their eyes, their brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, you think about what they smell like at home. You think about people with strange legs and large shoes and how long its been since you slept in complete peace. You think about how long this thought has been going on. You wonder if this is normal, you muse at how used to you've become to comfort. You smile at how someone has noticed you for your inquisitive nature, noticed you for you. You consider running in inappropriate shoes, wiping things clean with dirty hands. You wonder if you'll ever stop. You dream of retirement in the grass and if distance is the only answer left that you'll ever accept.

Monday, April 26, 2010

sigur ros binge

I remember when we ran so fast, I lost my favorite earring. Just one. A gift to the gutter, a gift to the city. I remember we sat listening to Jeff Buckley, who died too soon, so we'd be too warm under our covers, with his music to placate our raging fires. I could only concentrate on your vampire marks and the feel of your spotty skin under my fingers.

I thought I could beat you. I thought I could talk over you. I thought I could out-sulk you. Everything was a competition. Now, knowing that I've lost, knowing that I'm wrong, humbles me. Even though my performance was lacking, even though I didn't quite make the mark, you didn't care. Not like I would have.

Amma kehti hain:
waqt baadshah,
waqt fakeer.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

damn.

"You have to find somebody who is willing to accept you for who you are and then tell you that that's not good enough. And with their help, you figure out how to be better. And you need to do the same thing for them. But if you're not willing to turn around and say, 'I accept, I demand, and I work,' then you're not willing to be married."
-unknown

Thursday, April 15, 2010

on the 15th

I understand the need to experiment, I understand competitive feelings and that things don't always work out as we hoped they would, but do you have to be so bitter about it? The sun is out, I don't care any less than I did, and we're clinging to what we're familiar with. The least you can do is smile like you mean it. But if even that is too much for you to do, then you're not worth my time, any more.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

ghosts

lover, please
do not fall to your knees
it's not like i believe
in ever-lasting love.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

ffs

just give up on yourself already.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

The Game

'When I say 'bullet', you have to pretend like you're holding a metal shield that's protecting you, ok? You know, like a chicken.'
'Like a chicken?'
'Or a cow'
'....right.'