Tuesday, July 27, 2010

by Granfalloon, for you.

a) Show off your honesty(and modesty) by thanking the person who gave you the award and link to their post. [check!]

b) List 10 honest things about yourself. Cheating makes you lame, so just play along, all you taggees.

c) Select 7 other bloggers you think deserve this award and pass it on to them.

d)Notify said bloggers about the award and invite them to be the honest ones next. Ooh, I'm sure they'd love that.

a)thanks........................ =p. hehe, no really, yours was too fun to read, hope i can make mine just as entertaining.

b)

1. I love writing in pencil. In fact, I prefer it to such a degree that I will go out of my way to carry as many pencils in my purse as I can. Especially the squeaky mechanical ones, those are my FAVS. It's sad, but true. Kind of stuck in grade school if you think about it.

2. I'm dyslexic when I'm tired. People have been known to record/write down funny shit I say.

3. I constantly do things to purport my reality as a fantastical thing. I alter my vision or add foreign objects into my body. There are days when I'm stuck in my mind to the point where I start believing a truth I've completely made up. And then it's too much fun to actually come out.

4. I love the smell of skin. It's the most pure way someone can present themselves without even knowing/trying.

5. I'm very wary of animals. The fact that they don't trust me makes me not trust them.

6. I've had a generic stuffed teddy bear since I was born, and I can't actually sleep without him. Unless I'm sleeping with someone. Which means they have to be teddy, and up for long hours of cuddling.

7. I'm super-opinionated, and super-judgmental, but not really. Yeah. Try figuring that one out.

8. Sometimes, there's no point in telling the truth. So I don't. (This happens more frequently than I'd like it to).

9. The only reason I have an ok relationship with my parents is because I've gotten to know them as people.

10. I LOVE CHOCOLATE. I LOVE CHOCOLATE. I LOVE CHOCOLATE. (note: throughout the course of this list, this is probably the only truest of true things about me).

c) ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. ok. french vanilla, pinkgingerale,dreaminglass,mehru,a,z, aaaaaand granfalloon (where it started).

sigh. this is the shittiest thing I've ever written. WOE IS ME, IT IS LATE IN THE NIGHT, MUST SLEEP bye.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Disco Inferno

She stood observing the sign, thinking how outdated it was and whether or not she should push the button. The heat was making her melt, like a snowman or a witch. Her cigarette was seeming difficult to finish. Then a 'blind' man walked past. He was swinging his walking stick, but his sunglasses guarded his eyes. She didn't even see him, like she was blind too.
'Hey'
'Hello'
'How do you do?'
'Just fine, thanks'
'That's good. You take it easy now'
'Thank you, you too'


She goes back to concentrating on the sign. He walks till he's about to disappear behind a corner. He turns around, still walking and says 'You're too pretty to be smoking'.
She is not only blind, but also deaf.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

- Notion

It's hard stopping myself sometimes, when I'm high up. I can't help thinking, well it doesn't take much. Just a leap of faith. It's just easier to play/do things on repeat, you know? I watched her in her hula hoop gloriousness. She had those dents in her lower back, the ones that tell a stranger she enjoys sex. I don't have those dents yet, I also know why. But I remember wanting to be her, her hate, her ignorance, her curly hair. This is not what I bargained for, you know? I don't want a person in my tree, or have to do the whole balcony thing alone. No one lives in or around my apartment, there's no sharing to be done. No Audrey and her half tub sofa. No cat. I should get a cat. I don't like it, don't like it, I've been here before. I sat listening to their song, to our song, to everybody's song. My air freshener is frantic to get rid of evidence. Do I care enough to be coherent anymore? Maybe my happy pills can answer that.
I wonder if you'll care anymore for presents? I think not. She said I should let go. And why did he say everyone loved me? Because he hasn't seen me recently. He had said:
'you're good. be happy. and never forget what you did'.
But that's exactly why I dangle out of my window, to forget.

Friday, July 23, 2010

for hub VII/ Black

My dear. I wish I could be where you ask me to be. I wish things were simple once again, like back then, when I cried for no reason, you know. The trouble is, my darling boy, I've been aching, my heart has been fighting. And I'm tired, you see. So tired, I felt like a man. I sit comfortably above the (sea) city, but I couldn't figure stuff out. I couldn't figure out the position of her arm. And so I miscalculated. Was she moving or just laying? (on top of him). Either way I was mad, I flicked my cigarette heavily. People think she is a hero. I wish I could be a hero, sometimes. I mean, wtf anyway, you know? Maybe when I grow up, I'll know better than to tamper with hearts that aren't mine. Maybe when I'm older some day I'll learn not to let bugs bite me. Because these things are in my control. Things are what they are, but they also become what I want them to be. It's all about skewed perception, dear. I'm sorry I was hard on you by letting you be hard on me. I'm collecting all the people I love to sing me a song.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

- i wish it was half as funny as you think it is

I just sat, in pink underwear that my butt was too big for, staring at the white door with the golden door knob. 'I feel really anxious, nervous, angry'. She laughed heartily at me. Not thinking anything of it. I played along. My hair was plait-less, clothes everywhere. There is stuff that needs to be done, but I have neither the energy nor the interest to do them. 'Talking to you is really draining', he said. I had apologized. He was right.
I was exhausted.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

- What is Cool now

Of course, there are perfect nails and mismatched towels, printed clothes and beer bottles. Golden curls and real tears in the Sun, the people you think are your friends but want to jump off of rooftops in orange trunks instead. Nothing will ever be the same again. Penny Lane keeps telling you you're home, but you don't even know her real name, so why are you following her? Jimi Hendrix is chilling next to Abe Lincoln (and you write with people in your room), and for all you know, you paid too much for not getting your hands massaged. Let me tell you something, nothing is ever going to stay where you put it. You walk into a room expecting golden girl but you find mop boy instead. You will deny anything you ever said (even if that means still water runs deep), to protect yourself and loved ones who are creeped out by your lifestyle. You will deny your past, but make bonds with the present (in diners where people eavesdrop). You will put a lock on your big heart.
But given a second chance, a third, a fourth...be sure to at least do yourself right. Today is dead. Yesterday never was. And tomorrow....well, we'll figure that out tomorrow.

Monday, July 05, 2010

for hub VI/ joga

Summer is of colors. Of driving through the countryside at night listening to meaningful music. I don't understand why people complain about the humidity. I love rubbing the moistness between my fingers when I leave the house. On the porch, out of the sun, testing the waters before I jump in. In a car, only the 2 front windows are rolled down. That way, hair blows in the perfect direction. At a 45 degree angle. And the night wind makes me feel like a lark that was born free.