Saturday, July 24, 2010

- Notion

It's hard stopping myself sometimes, when I'm high up. I can't help thinking, well it doesn't take much. Just a leap of faith. It's just easier to play/do things on repeat, you know? I watched her in her hula hoop gloriousness. She had those dents in her lower back, the ones that tell a stranger she enjoys sex. I don't have those dents yet, I also know why. But I remember wanting to be her, her hate, her ignorance, her curly hair. This is not what I bargained for, you know? I don't want a person in my tree, or have to do the whole balcony thing alone. No one lives in or around my apartment, there's no sharing to be done. No Audrey and her half tub sofa. No cat. I should get a cat. I don't like it, don't like it, I've been here before. I sat listening to their song, to our song, to everybody's song. My air freshener is frantic to get rid of evidence. Do I care enough to be coherent anymore? Maybe my happy pills can answer that.
I wonder if you'll care anymore for presents? I think not. She said I should let go. And why did he say everyone loved me? Because he hasn't seen me recently. He had said:
'you're good. be happy. and never forget what you did'.
But that's exactly why I dangle out of my window, to forget.

1 comment:

mehreenkasana said...

Aisay mat karo. Itni pyari ho ker. Zaiya karo gi. Kaghaz, samaan, sab.

Aisay mat karo.