Monday, September 20, 2010

be sound/ birthday post.

she said to me, over the phone 
she wanted to see other people 
i thought, "well then, look around, they're everywhere" 
said that she was confused... 
i thought, "darling, join the club" 
24 years old, mid-life crisis 
nowadays hits you when you're young
i hung up, she called back, i hung up again 
the process had already started 
at least it happened quick 
i swear, i died inside that night 
my friend, he called 
i didn't mention a thing 
the last thing he said was, "be sound" 
i contemplated an awful thing, i hate to admit 
i just thought those would be such appropriate last words 
but i'm still here 
and small
so small.. how could this struggle seem so big?
so big...
while the palms in the breeze still blow green 
and the waves in the sea still absolute blue 
but the horror 
every single thing i see is a reminder of her 
never thought i'd curse the day i met her 
and since she's gone and wouldn't hear 
who would care? what good would that do? 
but i'm still here 
so i imagine in a month...or 12 
i'l be somewhere having a drink 
laughing at a stupid joke 
or just another stupid thing 
and i can see myself stopping short 
drifting out of the present 
sucked by the undertow and pulled out deep 
and there i am, standing 
wet grass and white headstones all in rows 
and in the distance there's one, off on its own 
so i stop, kneel 
my new home... 
and i picture a sober awakening, a re-entry into this little bar scene 
sip my drink til the ice hits my lip 
order another round 
and that's it for now 
never been too good at happy endings...


Anonymous said...

happy birthday?
Or not.

Zh. said...

thank you?
or no thank you.