Sunday, July 17, 2011

he told me in my dream that he had left everyone for me. he said he didn't want to talk about it, that he had to think deeply about what he had done. he knew there'd be consequences. but he also wanted me to know that he had done it. he had finally chosen.

it's only when i woke up that i realized it was a dream.
in reality, he had left me for everyone.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Two Countries

Skin remembers how long the years grow
when skin is not touched, a gray tunnel
of singleness, feather lost from the tail
of a bird, swirling onto a step,
swept away by someone who never saw
it was a feather. Skin ate, walked,
slept by itself, knew how to raise a 
see-you-later hand. But skin felt
it was never seen, never known as
a land on the map, nose like a city,
hip like a city, gleaming dome of the mosque
and the hundred corridors of cinnamon and rope.

Skin had hope, that's what skin does.
Heals over the scarred place, makes a road.
Love means you breathe in two countries.
And skin remembers--silk, spiny grass,
deep in the pocket that is skin's secret own.
Even now, when skin is not alone,
it remembers being alone and thanks something larger
that there are travelers, that people go places
larger than themselves.

Naomi Shihab Nye

Monday, July 11, 2011

i don't get it, and i don't care.

everything is everything is nothing.

i miss the old me.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

'don't fucking smile at me.
it's not a smile situation.'


Thursday, July 07, 2011

the 90's and then some.

i would happily kiss you good day because you were so patient as to kiss me goodnight.

you stayed and stayed, even when i asked you to leave. you didn't let me miss you. mr. future told me it'd be alright, all of it. waiting, still, to see if he was right.

if someone asked me to define us, i'd say 'it's like trying to balance dinner plates on monkey bars'.

Sunday, July 03, 2011

cried today.
this needs to stop.