Monday, March 18, 2013

the heart's symphony

I watched him sleep to
Suite Bergamasque
It was then that I realized
Spring was coming
that moment became my
Raison d'ĂȘtre

Thursday, March 14, 2013

good

when you write,
what do you feel?
are you proud that you can transport that thing in your heart
into someone's mind?

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

when two people are going through a difficult time
when their eyes are round and puffy because
exhaustion has filled them up with itself
it is equivalent to
a perfect summer leaf being split
perfectly down the middle.

the surprise gust of wind does the rest.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

chasing daylight


So this might sound sad or even silly.
But you know how that internet activist Aaron Swartz committed suicide?

I've been reading about it, reading obits and people say 'what a tragedy, what a shame, he was only just at the brink of greatness'.

And...
I get it.
I get why he probably did it.

There is a strange sadness that has been lurking around...enveloping me and quietly residing without my permission inside my chest cave, and I don't know what to say to it anymore. I've been trying to define it, to ignore it, to even categorize it in order to try and understand it better, but it's just a lazy lump of intrusion acting like a road block in all of my plans.

I was speaking to S about it yesterday, while he was drifting to sleep and wasn't able to really respond to the deepness in my confession. I spoke about this clear divide in my life, separated by time. A sort of 'has been' and what is now a 'will be'. I'm looking ahead and planning and organize accordingly, but it's as if a huge chunk of me has just splintered off haphazardly, and it's floating in the distance where I can see it, but I can't touch it anymore. I miss it.

Whereas first I used to collide head on into blurting out my feelings through different means of expression...now I hesitate. I stutter. I falter. And I give up.

Why is that?
What happened?


Wednesday, January 09, 2013

is that a snake?
or an earthworm?
no matter,
for i am not afraid of anything.